I quoted Lois P. Frankel from in her book, "Nice Girls Don't Get Rich," in the previous article. She stated that nice girls don't get rich because they focus more on the needs of others rather than on their own needs. Frankel states later in her book that getting rich is a 'game' with rules, strategies and an end point or goal and a language all its own. She relates this game to Monopoly, where the boys always seemed to win. The boys, says Frankel, didn't "play nice," which actually translates to a healthy competitive and strategic focus on an end goal.

Actually, my daughter prided herself on her Monopoly wins when she was young, but she did lose some of that competitive edge when she became a teen. Her goal to become socially accepted has diffused that drive in part as she spends some of her off time online socializing with classmates. While I understand that some time online can be relaxing for her, she - and thousands of other teens - often frequent sites that have nothing to do with successful endeavors.

Unlike Monopoly, online rules aren't so cut and dry. Plus, some people don't play nice at all, including Web site owners who prey on teens to increase online revenue. This ploy doesn't mean that your teen needs to deposit money on a site. Traffic volume to a site can generate revenue in some cases, so some site owners will do whatever it takes to appeal to teens who don't understand how to play this game.

Say, for instance, that your college teen runs across a site where he can make remarks about a professor or a classmate. Even if you discovered that your teen has visited this site, he may shrug off his participation by saying that it's "cool" to post there, because the site offers complete anonymity. He wasn't even required to register to participate. And, he can erase that remark, so the evidence is gone.

Later in the school year, you learn that one of your son's classmates was arrested for comments that the classmate made on that same site. After a bit of research, you discover how contentious this site has become. Plus, you might wonder how that teen was arrested, especially since the site promised complete anonymity.

To put it bluntly, the way your teen plays this Internet game can affect his future. That future hopefully includes a college education, a job or a career, and financial investments in financial goals. But, one false move on the Internet can destroy this hope. Here's a short list of rules on how to play the Internet game:

1. There are two levels to the Internet - a visible level where names, comments, photos, and other uploaded materials are visible to everyone through a Web site or a search engine listing. The second level is one that isn't visible to the average viewer.
   
   
2. Although individuals can "erase" online information in most instances, it can take forever to eliminate that same material. Once a remark has been made online, search engines work hard to find it. This is a quick and thorough process can keep information online for a long time.
   
   
3. Servers that house Web sites contain hard drives that store information, even information that was deleted online. Ask any geek and she'll happily tell you that software programs designed to completely erase a hard drive seldom erase a hard drive completely. Call it the ghost in the machine if you will? the possibility exists that some information can last forever.
   
   
4. Many sites will deposit cookies on a computer, and these little bits of information can grab an IP address and deposit it on the Web site's hard drive. This IP address can identify the computer that was used to gain access to that site. So, when investigators subpoena a business for their records, those same investigators can use that information to trace the location of computer. If you think the Web site will eliminate information about your computer or your activity from a given computer, you're wrong. They need to retain that information for a number of reasons, one of them being security and legal obligations.
   
   
5. More college administrators and employers now head to the Web to learn more about potential students and employees. With that said, the teen who has been active online throughout life has basically grown up online. Go ahead, search for your child by name on the Internet. What you find may shock you, so be prepared. On the other hand, you might be pleasantly surprised to learn that your teen has taken pains to remain as anonymous as possible.
   
   
6. On the bright side, the Internet can be used as a tool for financial success, as it's a great place to post a resume and to build a professional network. Web sites where registered members can post resumes and contact information exist, and anyone who views that information can do so by invitation or by introduction only - a safe way to distribute information.
   
   
7. In some cases, it's good to get your teen's name out there. Awards, scholarships, professional achievements and other accomplishments are great things to post online so others can find the information. But, there's no reason to include a home address, a school location, or a phone number.

The story above about the teen who was arrested isn't fiction. This young man made threatening remarks on a site geared toward college students. This site encourages anonymity and it allows individuals to post without registering. Still, investigators found the teen simply by following the first few rules of the game listed above. Rules that this young man didn't understand.

It's important for your college teen to understand that the Internet isn't a free-for-all, and that online activity conducted now can affect your teen's future - well into the future. Additionally, although every U.S. Citizen maintains the right to free speech, those freedoms contain limitations such as threats, defamation or libel (a harmful statement in a fixed medium, especially writing but also a picture, sign, or electronic broadcast). So if your teen decides to be "not nice" online in a way that has little to do with healthy competition, educational or career strategies, and a focus on financial goals, that teen may soon learn that he isn't as invisible as he believes.

Until Later,
Linda Goin