If you followed the previous two articles, you know that I recently attempted to diversify my portfolio with a real estate investment. I'm in the fortunate position to have a decent down payment, one that will reduce house payments to the size of my apartment rent, so it's time to move on. However, it appears that I picked the wrong door at the game show. I've been told that my story is one "for the books," because everything that could go wrong went wrong.

First, the inspector discovered that the "dirt" my broker described was, indeed, mold. Then, I witnessed my inspector laughing hysterically when I told him that my broker told me that the heating pipe was radon mitigation. Finally, I learned that buying a house was fraught with much more danger than purchasing stocks through an online brokerage.

This was an exhausting experience, as I kept looking over my shoulder for the enemy (my broker and his agent). I learned much, and I doubt I'll ever have the same experience again. Listen, learn, and laugh all you want?just remember me when you go to buy a house!

1. You may sign a contract, or a "buyer's agreement" as you negotiate a price for the home. This will happen before the inspection. This is a six-page agreement that protects both buyer and seller from problems that may arise between an inspection and the appraisal. Pay particular attention to article #13 at the bottom of page three and that continues on page four. Check the second box under "B," where you agree to an inspection. State that you need ten days or more to schedule the inspection, as radon boxes need 50 hours to sit before they produce accurate readings (if you need the radon). Then, make sure you take note of the next-to-last sentence, where you can declare the agreement "null and void" and ask for your earnest money back. This little act may save you if you discover something horrid during the inspection.
   
   
2. When you meet with your agent to look over that special house the second time, be very wary if that agent's broker shows up. This is a setup for a 'good-guy vs. bad-guy' routine, where one salesperson repeats all the negative comments you had about the house and the other salesperson negates the negatives with positive answers. Don't fall for it. Keep a stiff chin and hold your ground, especially when?
   
   
3. The broker may recommend bypassing an inspection, especially if the house is new (this one was three-years-old). Plus, that broker or agent may also state that a termite or radon inspection is unnecessary, once again especially if the house is new. Don't fall for it. When you find a house you like, count on spending the money for an inspector with all the bells and whistles. And, have one in mind before you ever look at a house, because?
   
   
4. The broker or agent might recommend one of their inspectors, because you'll get "a great deal." DO NOT fall for it. Find an inspector who is an impartial party (or your friend, not theirs). I happened to find a thorough and brutal inspector. He saved me thousands of dollars, and he helped me feel quite good about walking away from a house I was set on buying only the day before.
   
   
5. If your broker or agent begins to act cold or if they don't return your calls after you hire your own inspector, you can believe that they weren't acting in your best interest. In other words, they weren't representing you.

My inspector, a person I found by sheer luck, spent three hours at the house and I was more than welcome to join him to ask questions. He ran water for two hours in all bathrooms and in the kitchen to see if it would back up. It did, in one bathroom. Plus, we discovered that the upstairs bathroom toilet wouldn't flush and the tub wouldn't drain. A blockage, we assumed, but something that needed attention.

Your inspector should also climb up into the attic to take note of insulation and ventilation (mine were both inadequate). I also learned how to recognize a failing foundation as we inspected the front porch. That's right - a failing foundation in a three-year-old condo. I can only imagine how the association fees will soar after a few porches need to be shored up at over a grand apiece.

I never mentioned mold or foundation failure before we ventured into the bowels of this building to inspect the basement. Instead, the inspector was the one to validate my fears, with an emphasis that was nothing short of dramatic. By the time he was through with his tirade about how the builder (who was also the seller) should "be shot" for allowing such lousy construction and for neglecting to point out the mold, I was ready to walk away without qualms. Oh - and the radon reading was slightly high as well.

Fortunately, I didn't sign away my life savings and I can assume I'll receive my earnest money soon (at least it hasn't been deposited, which is another issue as I now understand). As for the articles mentioned a few weeks ago, where writers at Advertising Age were spouting anger over real estate agents?I'm afraid I haven't found a middle ground through my experience. I'm leaning toward their perspectives, but I still feel that their outlook is generalized. I'll give it one more shot and let you know what happens. In the meantime, we'll move on to other issues next week.

Until Then,
Linda Goin