I explained in the previous article how the cremation practice has grown over the past decade in response to available options and the cost represented by traditional earth burial. Much of this growth has come from funeral directors who offer cremation services in their funeral packages. And, these same directors now offer alternatives to traditional cremations as family members realize that they don't want to become custodians or caretakers for the remains.

If you feel your grandkids might leave your ashes behind in some musty attic when they move on, you can plan ahead now to avoid that scenario. You can be whisked away by a medical or forensic organization on your death date as mentioned in the previous article. You can choose to send your ashes back to the family or not in this instance. You can plan to be buried in a plot with a loved one. Your cremated remains can be buried in one-half the plot, and your spouse's remains can be buried in the other half.

The shared plot idea is romantic and less expensive than the full plot route, but many an empty space on a headstone can attest to the fact that the significant other might not want to be buried with you. That spouse could remarry, and that other plot (and the other half of that shared headstone) will attest that you lost out on a death companion.

Another situation involves a wife who died and was cremated. Her remains reside in an urn on the family mantel, waiting for her spouse to die. Once he crosses over, their children will scatter their ashes together. Other than the fact that their housekeeper refuses to clean the mantel, this plan seems to fit well with this particular family.

But, the children wanted to know what to do with the urn - or, possibly, matching urns - once the ashes are scattered. Reselling the urns might be impossible; but, since the family now owns the receptacles, the children might use them for flowers arrangements as an in-house memorial(s) to their parents. You can also purchase urns that provide dual purposes, like the garden series sold by Urn Wholesalers. You'll be reminded of your beloved departed every time those chimes tinkle in the breeze?

Speaking of breezes, if the idea of scattering your loved one leaves you cold, you can purchase biodegradable urns that decay over time. You can bury those urns knowing your loved one and his little ash casket will be one with the earth within the decade. You also can purchase an urn that looks like a Frisbee and that floats in water for five minutes or so before it sinks beneath the surface. This is an ideal container for the person who wants a water burial, yet who wants to retain ashes in one place due to religious beliefs.

One girlfriend admitted that she felt relieved after she made decisions about how she wanted to dispose of her body after death. Not only did some of the available options bring some levity to her situation, she now feels that her choices provide a means to express her personality after she's gone. The biggest plus to this preplanning for end-of-life reality is the savings that she'll bring to her family and friends.

She not only saved money in the long run with preplanning, she's spared her closest relations the angst of dealing with funeral arrangements at a time when decision-making can be painful. When an individual hasn't preplanned, survivors tend to spend more money than the deceased ever would have on a funeral. AARP (Association for the Advancement of Retired Persons) agrees with preplanning for all the above reasons, but they don't encourage prepayment:

"AARP urges you to be cautious about signing a pre-need contract or making other financial arrangements with a provider to pay for your funeral in advance. In the past, some people lost money when companies were involved in fraud, bankruptcy or mismanagement of the funds. Before you make a commitment, find out where your money will be kept and what the terms are. Ask the provider what will happen if you move and wish for the funeral to be elsewhere. Can you transfer the contract to a new city or get a refund?"

I would add that you might also want to change your funeral options as you age. A send-off in a blaze of fireworks might work for someone in his thirties (see previous article), but it might not appeal to that same person as he approaches his octogenarian years.

An option to prepayment is to save money in an interest-bearing account that can be liquidated easily when needed. This interest on this account - if it's guaranteed - could help those funds keep up with the cost of inflation. The problem with this plan is that you must?yes?plan ahead to allow another person gain access to funds earmarked for your funeral after you've passed on.

You can sign another person onto this account in some instances (see How to Avoid Probate), or you can open a fund earmarked for funerals by Medicaid in certain states. You can also assign a power of attorney, a person who will oversee your after-death requests. You may need a living will, or you may discover that all you need is a signed and witnessed legal agreement with a company that will dispose of your remains. You can always check with an unbiased source to determine how to handle your choices legally and feasibly.

As a final note, make allowances for instances when your wishes cannot be carried out. For instance, if you happen to die unexpectedly from a contagious disease, you may not be able to donate your body to science. Do you have alternative plans?

As my father constantly reminds his family, funerals aren't for the dead. Funerals are for the living, so decide now how you'd like survivors to remember you after you're gone. After all, you won't be around to defend yourself if you screw up.

Until next week,
Linda Goin