Numerous business and money magazines this year focused on women in the office, women as CEO's (or not), and women as entrepreneurs. While the idea that women should act like men in the office to get ahead is debatable (like what do men really do, and do we really want to emulate them?), the holiday office party presents another wholly different atmosphere where rules often get bent and broken. The results could spell disaster for many employees, not just for women. So, I have a few gifts for you based on my past experiences and some common sense:

1. You will receive an invitation to the office party, if a party is given, and if you are an employee in that office. If you didn't receive an invitation, don't hesitate to contact your immediate superior about this omission. Don't take the lack of an invitation personally, because it probably was a mistake. On the other hand, when you receive an invitation, never ever turn it down.
   
   
2. You may not want to attend an office party, but you are expected and your absence will be noted. Most office superiors will expect you to stay at an office party for no less than an hour, but if you have a cramped schedule you may be able to pull off thirty minutes. Kids and a lack of sitters are always a good excuse to cut your attendance time short. So is a long trip, but don't flaunt Hawaii in anyone's face. If you shorten your visit, come early and leave early rather than arrive late for a short visit.
   
   
3. On the other hand, don't overstay at an office party, even if you have the time of your life. Other employees will wonder if you have a life.
   
   
4. Although office parties are meant as social events and/or rewards, remember that everything that you do will be watched by someone at some point and may be used against you later (especially if you are successful). That "later" could mean a time when you are considered for a promotion.
   
   
5. Whittle wardrobe possibilities down to a classy and unrevealing cocktail dress (men, please keep on those suits and ties). If the party is casual, don't do sloppy or grunge unless you're under twenty and work in a music store.
   
   
6. Since attire excludes items that may make you look like you're ready for the bedroom rather than the boardroom, actions follow suit. Keep your hands away from other people's body parts. Even shoulder- or arm-touching is considered off-limits these days, as physical boundaries are more well-defined by sexual harassment issues. However, a handshake is appropriate in greeting (from men and women), so make sure you maintain one hand free, dry, and clean for that effort.
   
   
7. You don't need to physically touch someone to cross boundaries. Flirting or overt suggestions are no more appropriate at the office party than they are in the office.
   
   
8. Sip and nibble, don't guzzle and gorge, otherwise your office-mates may wonder whether you have eating problems or if you spend all your money on gambling instead of food. Sample a little bit of this and that, especially if the buffet is pot-luck ("What? You didn't try my fried sausage bacon wraps with marshmallow centers?"). Remember to bring antacid, but don't take it in front of anyone.
   
   
9. Most folks can't eat and talk at the same time, and talk is good as long as the conversation remains upbeat and positive. Despite all the problems in the world and in your office environment, the office party is not the time to ponder these issues. Instead, think of this event as a Chamber of Commerce affair, where you can network and send out stunning "I'm a success and you are too" beams.
   
   
10. Seemingly contrary to #9, your conversation should steer away from business and personal accomplishments during the office party. You can say that you're a success and not a bore when you 1) don't interrupt another person's train of thought; 2) focus on others instead of yourself, and; 3) ask questions rather than supply answers. Arguments, gossip, and jokes are never appropriate for office parties (can you think of one joke that isn't offensive to someone?). If a person wants to pull you into any one of the latter situations, you can simply and politely move on. Parties are meant for mingling anyway.
    
    
11. Oh - and keep your stock market knowledge to yourself during holiday office parties. If someone actually takes you for a pro and picks a loser, you may lose a networking buddy as well. Oy - and if your boss hears about that one?.ouch.
    
    
12. Global economies change how we perceive our worlds, and the office party is no exception. Use "Happy Holidays" as a greeting rather than "Merry Christmas," and you'll remain inoffensive and be perceived as globally aware by those who consider these things, especially at larger parties where you're unsure about other individuals' personal interests.
    
    
13. Water and a few olives in a martini glass passes for the real thing every time I've tried it, and the office party is a great place to experiment with this tactic. You'll stay sober, and while in this state you might notice that people rarely over-drink at these events (that's why the ones who do stand out).

Holiday office parties are meant to be fun and rewarding - at least that's the boss's intent. Even if you feel you have nothing in common with other attendees, your superior may note and appreciate your attendance and attitude. If you aren't noted, take that immediate lack of attention as a positive sign. After the smoke clears from the gossip about so-and-so who wore the red reindeer nose, danced on tables, and spilled more than one drink, you'll shine through as the class act.

Until Next Week,
Linda Goin