The past five years were filled with strain and stress for many people, and the momentum continues. Between Y2K in 2000 and ongoing news of natural disasters and brutalities that hold our rapt attention today, it often seems difficult to focus on an abundant and exciting future. I feel fortunate that I have a daughter, because she helps me stay riveted to the moment and future goals. Otherwise, I think I'd hide in a hole and let the world wobble on by.

Isolationism, supposedly, is one way we can obliterate feelings generated by what we perceive as overwhelming disasters. Another way to regain faith so we can continue to invest in our lives and portfolios is through knowledge and rational logic. I also use a little humor/cynicism and manipulation to gain control, but feel free to add your own ingredients. These practices all boil down to how we master seemingly uncontrollable situations.

For instance, I normally read Internet news, because I prefer to select stories delivered in a non-emotional format. This week, however, my days were sandwiched by early morning and late night TV news shows, and I allowed this change to alter my equilibrium. First, I had no control over the TV and, secondly, I had no control over various newscasters' deliveries. However, I did have headphones, and I used them. While this choice leaned toward isolationism, I felt that I regained control over my environment.

Perceived loss of control can develop into a breeding ground for fear and anger (think mosquitoes in a swamp). While this loss of control can encompass permanent or temporary forfeiture of love, shelter, health, or other familiar actions or objects in our lives, I'll stick to money for this go-round. Money often provides a safety net for many of us, and an absence of cha-ching might mean we lose control over our comforts and self-confidence.

According to many health-care professionals, these feelings are part of the grieving process. We mourn our losses and, if we don't accept our situation, we turn our anger inward and begin to blame ourselves for our inability to avoid nasty environments. Anger turned inward is called depression, and no amount of chocolate can cure this dis-ease. Instead, it helps to have Elizabeth Kubler Ross's stages of grief on hand (posted to the fridge, perhaps?) to help us get over the hump and continue to invest in our futures.

Kubler-Ross, in her book, "On Death and Dying," decided that terminally ill patients experience five reactions to death. However, these stages - which may take seconds or years to experience - also apply to monetary losses:

1. Denial - "This is NOT happening to ME!" Income loss can be numbing. As a single parent, I often swallowed my pride and ask for financial and emotional help from family, friends, and social-work agencies when times were tough, because loss of income in this situation affected others as well as myself. This stage might be easier to overcome when it comes to our investments. If the stock market looks bearish, it probably looks bearish to others also, and we can make immediate changes in our portfolios. On the other hand, if a specific equity drops without warning, it helps to remember that we're not the only investors. In other words, we aren't isolated. Also, we took risks when we invested and, hopefully, we understood that risk encompasses the possibility of loss. This is why so many financial advisors advocate diversity.
   
   
2. Anger - "WHY is this happening (to ME)?" Here, we can ask why the situation happened. If we didn't diversify, we can only blame ourselves and change our habits. If we diversified, we might investigate the specific stock to see if we need to move on or hang in. If we lost income because of a natural disaster, it helps to remember that nature's wrath is indiscriminate. If our income loss occurred because we were negligent or downright insane, then the results might provide clues that we were doing something that might be profitable but unrewarding in other areas.
   
   
3. Bargaining - "I'll diversify/change if you promise a profit." There are no guarantees in the stock market or anywhere else for that matter. Kubler-Ross knew the only sure thing in life was death (and taxes?), so risk is unavoidable. If we continue to invest money or efforts in irrational causes or businesses, diversification becomes a moot issue. If we continue to live in areas visited by natural disasters, we might avoid glass houses. If we continue to harass clients, we might find happiness as a hermit. Research and rational logic can help us mitigate high-risk factors.
   
   
4. Depression - Granted, after we experience loss we may not care about anything. Our loss may seem irreplaceable. Remember what the experts say - depression is anger turned inward. Once we envision one small way to gain control, then we might see a sliver of light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully, this light isn't emanating from the fridge, because food is not the answer. Instead, we might help others even before we experience a loss. This activity might give us a rope to hang onto when we encounter a cliff.
   
   
5. Acceptance - We begin to acknowledge our loss(es) and - with renewed hope and faith - we reorganize our lives and our investments. In the case of financial loss, we can recognize our responsibility, learn from our experience, and prepare to avoid future losses.

Upon acceptance, we can begin to view our surroundings in a new light, or we put on headphones?(denial). If you're a TV reporter, you might not be able to overcome grief with all the daily losses you present (anger). I would watch TV news if these losses can be balanced by a little less drama or some good news (bargaining). But, I can't change your program?(depression). On the other hand, I still have control over my investments and, next week, I can turn the TV news off (acceptance).

Until Then,
Linda Goin