Summer's end is cruel for many parents, because some children leave to attend school in other parts of the world. Some divorced parents, especially, face the "empty nest" syndrome way before their children reach the age of consent. This separation is even more difficult when one ex-spouse (and perhaps their new partner) hold different values than you (and possibly your new partner) as you shape plans for your child(ren)'s futures. However, there are some areas you can use as common ground to help keep emotions in check. Two of these areas include book sense and common sense.

Book sense is fairly self-explanatory. Children often begin to understand how their grades affect their futures when they arrive a little closer to that high-school graduation date. Good grades mean better prices on car insurance, better chances at a choice of higher educational institutions, and better chances at interviews. While many colleges and bosses often look for extracurricular activities as a sign of social compatibility, the grades are often the bottom line in how a teen is perceived in certain markets.

Common sense, however, is not as black and white as a high GPA. Common sense often depends on values, and values contain more gray, murky areas than book sense. While we - as parents - can battle it out all day long (and often for years) over whether our children "should" or "should not" do one thing or another, there are certain rules that all can agree upon, and these boundaries concern safety. If both sets of parents can agree that their child's safety is utmost in their concerns, then some other contentions might fall by the wayside. Additionally, our children mimic our behaviors. If we practice the small steps toward safety below, our children can take these safety tools with them as they head out into the world:

1. Cell phones are, perhaps, the greatest invention in the world, but they are also my biggest pet peeve regarding personal safety. When a person answers her phone in a public place and proceeds to tell the caller where she is, where she is going, and how the person on the other end can find her, this person is also telling everyone around her the same information. While many of us are in the process of learning how to tune these public cell phone users out, other people might be VERY interested in this information.

Two examples: I overheard a college student tell her caller that she was going to a specific bank to cash her check and then proceeded to tell the caller everywhere she was going to spend that money. I wasn't the only one who overheard, as everyone on the train platform that day was attentive to her conversation. On the other hand, an elderly woman answered her cell phone in a crowded restaurant last week and told her caller almost the same information mentioned above. While this restaurant was not a crowded train station, the room was filled with people who, I'm sure, were just as interested in her information. Solution? Tell the caller you'll call back when you're in a more private situation.

2. Do you really need to include your address in a phone book? I don't think so. In fact, unless you run a business, why have your information in the phone book in the first place? There are businesses that make money by lifting your information and placing it on line for others to find. Additionally, you make yourself vulnerable to any business (including politics) that makes lifting your information an essential part of their marketing. Additionally, if your name, phone number, and address are available to anyone, you run the risk of opening the door one day to a complete stranger who isn't concerned about your personal safety.

3. While it's often impossible for adults to travel in groups, teens seem to swarm in lemming-like fashion by instinct. If you want your child safe, then don't discourage this behavior. Have you ever seen anyone mess with a group of teens? This is especially important for teenage girls, an age group and gender that seems more vulnerable than teenage boys. While a group of giggling girls may drive you up a wall, just remember that "this too shall pass," and that they are safer in groups than if they are alone.

4. Watch your garbage, especially if you still pay your bills by snail mail. Buy a shredder (they are much less expensive than they were two-three years ago), and make sure you separate the shredded bills and other information into two separate piles that you dispose of on two separate days. It's often safer to pay your bills online. Additionally, if you can direct deposit your paycheck, you won't get caught standing in line at a bank. You can also stop your paper bills in most cases, which eliminates any possibility that someone might access your account numbers. This paper trail leads to one last bit of common sense...

5. Teach your children to save money, and teach them to manage their investments online. You can do this last bit easily at BUYandHOLD, where everything is contained in one safe, online site. Additionally, you can give your graduate a going-away present of a safety deposit box, where they can keep tax papers and other valuables safe, away from inevitable room mates and their often questionable friends.

Book sense and common sense are two senses that can help you protect your most important assets - your children. These two senses can work even better as your children begin to stand up for their own values, which may be totally different than "his and/or hers" and "mine and/or ours." When adults can keep their focus on their child's safety and well-being, other matters may seem a little less important.

Until Next Week,
Linda Goin