I just wrapped up another quarter at school. I have a two-week break, and then I'll be back into it again until the holidays. Besides gloating over Cora's jealousy over taking a break from school, I'm also gloating that I managed to ace my physics course. The latter is almost as good as eating chocolate without calories.

The reason I'm so thrilled at passing physics is because it terrified me to take the course in the first place. I was frightened by the algebra involved in the course. Math is a weakness for me, and I know why. I don't practice it, for one thing. The other reason is that I'm a right-brain person. Math intimidates people who don't use the left side of their brains.

"So," you might ask, "How does a right-brain person get a job writing a financial column?"

Good question. Let me explain the difference between right-brain and left-brain functions, and what this has to do with Wall St. Then, I'll answer that question if absolutely necessary.

Throughout history, scholars have suspected we have dual personalities. Just over forty years ago, scientists defined the organization and function of the brain. Today, we're well aware that we have two hemispheres that function on different levels.

The left-brain is known as the dominant lobe of the brain, but there are many qualifiers to this statement. Everyone is slightly different. The left-brain controls the right side of the body, so most people would be right-handed. This doesn't mean that your left-brain is less dominant if you're left handed. It just means you're not operating like the majority of humans. Just consider yourself special.

The left-brain, in spite of its dominance, is also younger than the right side of the brain by evolutionary standards. The right brain develops more rapidly in the first months of our lives, and has been linked to the part of the brain that controls the limbic system, or our reptilian brain. Cora calls it the "lizard brain."

This reptilian part of the brain keeps us alive. It bases everything on pleasure or pain, and it doesn't think for us. It just operates on the 'fight or flight' syndrome. The development of the right brain from this reptilian brain is the reason why the right side of the brain is so emotional. This side of the brain controls our feelings, and it loves aesthetics and harmony. The right side of the brain also helps us recognize shapes and space. It's the artistic side of the brain.

The left-brain, on the other hand (or other side of the head), is the side of the brain that develops a little later. This left side of the brain speaks for the right brain. The left-brain is the captain of language, numbers, and abstract thinking. It also helps us recognize time and gives us a clue to linear developments. Without left brain function, we wouldn't be able to speak, but we would remember words to songs?the right brain can sing.

The right brain also loves rhetoric, even though it can't understand the written language. Analogies, metaphors, personification, puns, and irony don't escape the right brain. This, perhaps, is why some right-brainers understand the stock market. Wall St. is full of rhetoric, especially irony.

Left-brainers, or people who love math and have a capacity to learn fifteen languages, might have an easier time studying the technical side of the market. They would also know to connect past events to future possibilities, because they can perceive statistical probability more quickly than right-brainers.

Before you go around pointing fingers at yourself and your friends stating who is right-brain and who is left-brain, I need to tell you that none of us could fully function without either side. Some of us just practice using one side more than the other, or we're born with propensities hard-wired into each separate hemisphere.

Each side of the brain works together for us to keep our heads about us, literally. If we compare our brains to physics, we have a perfect match. Physics consists of the study of space and time. It concerns itself with shapes and numbers, too. Without full brain capacity, physics would never have been born. Therefore, we know Isaac Newton had his faculties about him when he defined gravity and created the visible color spectrum.

If we compare the stock market to our brains, we have something interesting to ponder. Let's take right and left brain for a walk on Wall St. and see how they would handle this situation:

Left-brain: "Let's go to the floor of the NYSE. I want to hear the clamor of voices and see all the action."

Right-brain: "Look! There's a restaurant on the other side of the street. I wonder how good the food is?"

Left-brain: "How can you be hungry? This is so exciting! I want to see some statistics on how many people come to this neck of the woods to learn about the market."

Right-brain: "I hear the NASDAQ building is nice and quiet. I'd like to meditate to the hum of the computerized stock system."

Left-brain: "I wonder how many brokers I can find on this street alone. If I hurry, I can buy some more stock before the market closes. Wouldn't it be a hoot to buy stock on Wall St.?"

Right-brain: "La-di-da-di-da. By the way, I love your gray Armani suit."

If we only had right brain function, our portfolios - if we even considered owning one - would be totally ignored. If we only operated on our left-brain alone, we would be daytraders. Therefore, to invest with any sense of responsibility, we must do it with all our faculties.

I would suggest keeping the reptilian brain in a box with plenty of food and water.

Until Next Week,
Linda Goin

PS - I can write this column because I use both sides of my brain, in spite of Cora's accusations that I favor the lizard.