The game goes very quickly if the merchant doesn't offer what we need or want. With some catalogs, the choices are agonizing. Will it be the computer with the triple-sized screen and gazillion gigabytes? Or will it be the five-tier dollhouse with the rooftop swimming pool that holds real water?

Many times I ask Cora why she chooses certain items. Her answers are sometimes silly, but always enlightening. All her current dissatisfactions and dreams are played out - not through knowledge, but through very personal and emotional choices.

"What kind of BUYandHOLD Investor are you?" is almost as agonizing as the best of catalog games. How are we going to invest our "real" money? What choice makes the most sense? Do I put the account in my name or in my child's name? How can I plan for the future when today is a squeeze?

Let's complicate this situation a bit by being single moms. A death or divorce is stressful. Being a survivor of either one of these events is serious business. Was there a settlement, or do we live by the skin of our teeth? Or both? Do we share our resources with other relatives and friends, or do we cut a path on our own?

We also need to look at the number and the ages of children we have in our care. Do we have full or partial custody, or have we given up all legal rights to our children? Does your child spend part of the year with other family members and part of the year with you? Or are they with you all the time?

I'm not asking these questions arbitrarily. These are building blocks for our investment decisions, mainly based on taxes. The questions need to be answered with knowledge, not with personal and emotional choices.

If a mail-order catalog advertised a person to take care of all this for me, I would pick THAT. The reality is we often don't have this option. Even moms with partners may not be privy to all that transpires deep in the financial cubbyholes of their lives.

The upside to all this responsibility is that answers to all these questions - and more - are at our fingertips. We don't have to stumble around until we see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. All we have to do is hunt and click or call and ask, and we can begin to control our financial freedom.

The first tool in our quest for this independence is a notebook. Get a big, brightly colored spiral notebook and label it "FINANCES." Answer all the questions above, and add those that are special to your situation. Do this before you make one phone call or search one web site. You'll be more focused, and this will help you stay cool throughout the following steps:

One of the first web sites you'll check out is the IRS. Their "Digital Daily" has many articles and columns worth researching. Many topics have a "yes" or "no" option that will lead you to answer other questions. Make notes as you go through this maze, because a paper trail is handy if you hit a dead end. The site is lively enough to attract a child's attention, so you can lure Emma or Charlie or Sunmoonflower away from the television and enlist their help. If you make this a fun and pleasurable experience, it could ease tension on your part. Plus, you can show your child the IRS is willing to help if you're willing to try.

Next, take a look at the balances on your credit card bills. If you have outstanding accounts, you'll want to clear these up before you invest. Why take money to make long-term investments when you have short-term interest piling up on a daily basis? It just doesn't balance out, especially if your credit card debt is higher than your interest income on investments. Unless all you can manage is a minimum monthly payment, you will want to double up, triple up, pay it all off.

After you do all the above, surf to any search engine and type "single mom resources" into the search engine box. There are thousands of sites available to help us, and each one has a different focus and appeal. These sites are there for a reason - to be used. Don't let the impersonal visual image on your screen lead you to believe robots run the information flow. The managers of most women's resources are women who have been in our boat.

The same principle stands for BUYandHOLD. There are real people in real rooms with real answers to your questions at this company. The folks at BUYandHOLD want to help you.

Ok, ladies - now it's time to take the horse by the reins. Open the pages of BUYandHOLD and pick an investment strategy. You can now base your choice on knowledge - not on very personal and emotional choices. If you're still hesitant to pick a strategy and make an investment, look at this with a different perspective: What you're doing is paying yourself for all this work.

You don't need "all the money in the world" to make choices in your financial freedom catalog. But please let me know if you do get one of those dollhouses with the swimming pool, because I want to come visit.

Until next week.

Linda Goin